That's right, still waiting.
You know what, blog friends? I'll let you in on a little secret....
I'm really sick of waiting.
There. I've said it.
This weekend, Russ and I will be working on putting together our 3rd dossier in 3 years, since all of our Kaz stuff has now expired (except the FBI and the 171 form, thank goodness). We'll need to update our homestudy and re-do all the other documents (including notarizing, apostilling, etc.). Is there such a thing as a "Frequent Apostiller's Club" ??? Can we get a discount or something? We're probably single-handedly funding some state programs in Missouri and Illinois with all the apostille fees we've paid over the years....
You know, 2 weeks ago, I was SURE we were going to get a phone call that week. I got a funky, weird, excited feeling the weekend before... I just felt certain that the phone call was imminent. Heck, I then sat down to read a weekly Bible lesson that I subscribe to, and there were all kinds of passages about family and children. It was so cool! There was the verse from Psalms about how "God setteth the solitary in families." There was also the story of Moses' mother making what I now think of as an "adoption plan" for him when she realized it was no longer safe for her to keep him. She put him in an ark and placed him in the reeds by the river where she knew he'd be found. I took great comfort from all those ideas.
And the days passed that week, and there was no phone call. No news. No updates. :^(
So the question I had then was: what the heck WAS that feeling? It felt like inspiration... was it wishful thinking? Was I being delusional? I just felt so sure.... that has happened a few times during the past couple of years... I don't know what to make of those feelings anymore.
There are two things that are really challenging to us during this part of the wait. First is that we are way beyond the original estimation of when we'd travel. When we turned our paperwork in last spring, we were told we'd travel in 6-8 months. Once 8 months came and went (back in February), we started living week-to-week, anticipating imminent travel. That's a long time to be waiting on the edge of one's seat. We feel like we're floating around in some sort of limbo.
The second thing that's kind of tough to take is that there are folks from our agency whose dossier got to the MOE after ours who have travelled already. We've been "skipped" several times now. We're not waiting on a girl (I know that slows things down). We requested either gender, up to 18 months. But we keep getting skipped. I don't mean to sound jealous of those families...I'm thrilled for those families who are traveling to Kazakhstan to meet their children. But it makes it pretty tough for us to wait, week after week. Our agency has been so supportive and understanding through this time. They don't know why we've been skipped, either. We've been told there's nothing wrong with our dossier.
But I still believe that international adoption ain't for wimps and it requires optimism and courage, and that we're in this for the long haul.
Hope springs eternal...
Maybe the phone will ring this week...
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19 comments:
Oh Chrissy--I am so sorry for your frustration right now. I think you are being "skipped" because the child that is being reserved just for YOU and Russell isn't ready yet. I truly believe that in my heart of hearts. I know, it sure doens't make it any easier, especially since you get to redo everything.
If it makes you feel better-we are redoing everything too! Our homestudy was done August 8th, and that is coming up. I got my new FBI prints back in a week, and have done some of the other things, but not all of it yet.
I figure i'll take a week in June and get it done.
We have made plans for the summer (fun plans!!!) because I'm not getting any kind of tingly feeling of anticipation.
The feelings that you are feeling could be that your child is being identified for you-and your call is coming very soon.
You have been SO very patient and so encouraging to everyone else.
Hug the goats and get your paperwork REDONE and your time will come. :)
Chrissy, I can feel every single word you wrote. It is very hard and even though you thought you are not a patient person, I think your patience and courage is really considerable. I dont know when did yiou started, but I think your dossier really takes very long time. I know is very hard to redo all these endless paperwork and I know you will do it. I hope your phone will ring any time soon with geat news, I wish I could be of help, maybe just thinking that at the end of thiss hard long way you will hug your child, will help. I lost my hopes many times, but I am a prove that miracles do happen. You will meet your child soon, just dont give up.
Many hugs,
Catalina
Have they been able to check (have someone there in Kaz) and see that your dossier has not gotten misplaced or some other crazy thing like that? Or are they not able to get any information about it at all? I think that if you have been nice and patient with your agency up to this point you ought to begin to add a little pressure to the mix. The fact is the saying the squeeky wheel gets the grease is a saying for a reason - because it is true. You don't have to be mean about it but call them twice a week and say that at this point I need to be getting regular updates since I have been waiting so long. Since the fact is you really don't know all the details about your dossier and why it is taking so long I would do this to ensure that there is nothing your agency could be doing to help the process along or even at least get information about what is going on to you. I do agree that you will still get the child meant for you - but that doesn't mean you just sit and wait for fate to come to you - you can and should act and do what you feel is right - to me that is what leads you to the right child - following your gut and instincts.
We could not agree with you more. We tell everyone we meet -- "this is not for the faint of heart." It is sooooo hard to watch families travel before you when you know your dossier was submitted before theirs with the same exact requests. Of course we all support one another -- but it's still difficult to experience. We thank you for continuing to support us when we know we are in that "other" camp for you. :-( We still don't get it ourselves. There are so many parts of this process that are inexplicable ... and then, on top of everything, it is such a vulnerable feeling because you don't want to make the wrong people mad (and, of course, there is no way to determine who those people are!). I do agree with Amy ... I would continue to push gently. Perhaps you could ask some specific questions about the in-country coordinator? "Does she work for other agencies and therefore has to balance many families and requests? How many families is she busy with now? Is it a matter of her identifying a child for us in the region, and that is taking longer than expected? Is there a limit on how many families she can work with at one time? Is there a chance that a child or two have been identified but we are waiting on those children to come off the registry?" (I am saying "she" because every coordinator we met was a woman....). If other families from your agency have traveled, your agency must be in touch with their coordinators. Yes, much is inexplicable, but now I understand how many more questions can actually be asked -- you might not get answers to everything, but perhaps it will help you feel like you are doing more than just waiting. In the meantime, your patience and support is amazing and very much appreciated.
I keep checking back and hoping that it is your turn!!! It will be, dear friends, it will be. Only God knows why it is taking what seems like an unfair amount of time. I can't believe that we had the same timelines and you guys haven't gotten the call yet. Ugh! I am sorry you have to redo your paperwork - another ugh! We are sending good thoughts & prayers into the world for your phone to ring soon!! Journal your thoughts and feelings - even though you may not know what to make of them now, when you meet your child and learn about him/her, clarity may then come ;)
Hang in there! It is very frustrating to wait for so long. We are somewhere behind you in the process, but have the same criteria! I am dreading getting the email/call to start redoing all of our paperwork. We have a few more months before that happens, but I am dreading it! There is a time for everything and your time is coming!! Keep the faith.
Hey Chrissy,
Just wanted to extend our sympathy. I'm so sorry. Having waited just a couple of months past our own expected travel date I know some of what you must being going through. You're hopefulness and patience will pay off, I'm sure. They can't keep skipping you forever (or, it would seem, much longer).
This really is not an easy process to go through. The hardest parts are just not having information, waiting, putting life on hold, feeling like it is never going to happen. But you will get there. Stick to it. I pray that your time is coming sooner than you think.
Of course you are sick of waiting! My goodness. I would also say to try to get some details from the agency. I can understand a couple of families going ahead for some reason, but lots of families going ahead requires some sort of explanation.
We will have to re-do most of our paperwork too - but only once.
Hang in there!
Chrissy and Russell,
Hang in there. You are about six months ahead of us and we have made the same request that you have and are also with CHI. I am sure we will be redoing our paperwork soon. My fear is also being "skipped" but it also seems that International Adoptions does not always follow a particular rhyme or reason which can be very frustrating. I am saying a prayer for you that you will get the call very soon.
The Baker Family - Stephanie and Dusty
If it's any consolation, we are really sick of having you wait as well. ;) We are so anxious for all of our blog friends to hurry up and travel so we can live it all over again vicariously through you. However, such a big part of living it all over again is living through that long and awful wait. Which is made even worse when you are told to expect one thing and are still waiting months later. So, so sorry you are still experiencing it!
Sara
ok, Chrissy, now I am getting antsy for you. Your waiitng is way too long. Did you try to talk to youe agency why do they take so long? I know we need to be patient, and everyhting happens with a reason, but this is already too much for you. Maybe they should check to make sure everything is OK with the papers. at least you should know something about your region. Please update us as soon as you know something. I wish you best of luck.
Just checking in - I am so sorry to hear you are STILL waiting! I just am sick about it. Ihope you get that call soon.
I feel exactly the same--I am just a couple months behind you with CHI also and am getting sick of the wait also. I know others are waiting too but that doesn't really make it easier-I just want all of us to travel soon!
Best of Luck on the paperwork stuff--I will be doing that soon also. I'll be thinking of you and praying that you get the call soon.
I totally agree with Amy. It's time to put on the pressure. From my experience in country, the people in Kazakhstan (though they are very nice) have a "tomorrow" attitude. I had to be firm to get answers. For example, while in Uralsk the MOE requested a new document (an apostilled guardianship letter), which needed to be presented in court. Well it takes over 21 days for a Fed Ex shipment to get to our region. So other families (who had arrived at the same time as we did) were allowed to use faxed copies of the document for court but our agency wouldn't go to bat for us. They insisted we wait until the actual document was in hand before scheduling a court date. After much persuasion on our part, they emailed the electronic file to the court house and as a result we were able to schedule a court date—shaving off at least 3-4 days wait time.
Hi you guys,
Just checking in now that we are home and I have internet access!
Your dang skippy right that Kaz adoption is not for wimps! To be honest, after our experience I don't know that I could honestly recommend it for anyone just starting out. It's sad.
But have faith that you guys are far enough along in the process that you WILL travel someday soon, and never have to re-do another dossier document again!
Thanks for your supportive comments during our 1st trip -- we really needed them. It was a rollercoaster ride, but we are so thankful that we found our sweet boy! He makes all the waiting and headaches worth it! Now if we can only get his little hiney home...
When your child is ready you will be too! Can you imagine the overwhelming joy you are going to have when you get "the call". Keep holding on and know that it will happen...
I keep checking to see if you have gotten the phone call yet. I hope it comes soon! You have waited such a long time.
Marla
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