You guys are awesome!

A big THANK YOU to all of you out there in blog-land who have posted hopeful and encouraging remarks on our blog in the last month or so... after I've posted two marginally cranky posts in a row, I owe you guys a lot for your uplifting comments. I especially appreciate all of you granting me "permission" gripe and moan a bit about how things are going (or NOT going, as seems to be the case here...)

So here are a few tidbits of good news:

First, CHI (our agency) opened a new region today! They're now working in the Karaganda region. Of course, the first thing I did upon hearing that news was jump on Google and check out who else has adopted from there. Sounds like a cool place. I'd be totally happy to be our agency's "guinea pig family" and be the first from CHI to travel there. Who knows? :^) Hopefully, opening another region will speed things up a little bit?

Second, the CHI families who are in country (or currently between trips) have apparently had smooth travels and smooth experiences (not many of them currently have public blogs). I'm so grateful for their good experiences!

I don't have any idea when our big exciting phone call will come in, and yes, the wait time has started to make me pretty cranky at times. But I came across an awesome quote from II Corinthians yesterday: "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair..." I was reading an essay that quoted this passage from Paul. The author of the essay described the apostle Paul as the biggest "cheerleader" for the early struggling Christians... and he sent this quote in a letter to the Christians in Corinth to encourage them during trying times. So I'm trying to live up to this quote... the frustration and sadness threatens me, but I'm going to choose not to be distressed... I'm perplexed by MANY, MANY things about the adoption, but I'm choosing not to be in despair.

I've been thinking about how blessed I've been - with many aspects of my life - but particularly recently - great husband, great job, great colleagues at my office. Last year, I led my last study abroad for a while, and I've been reviewing pictures and videos from that trip. So I thought I'd share a few pics from my last abroad to New Zealand in 2007 (my "farewell" to study abroads before taking on parenting.... but my abroads were really what taught me about parenting in the first place! I've had fabulous students on my trips!):

Here's me, right before hiking up a glacier (one of my favorite parts of the trip):

And here's my 2007 group up on the glacier:

A photo from part of the trail on the Milford Track, a 33 mile backpacking trip we do in southern New Zealand... a fabulous place... it gets nearly 21 FEET of rain there per year and last year, we had 2.5 sunny days out of 4. Amazing!
Students on a swing bridge during the trek:

Me and a student, contemplating the overlook called "12-second drop" (i.e. how long it would take for something you dropped to hit the valley below... it's a looooong way down!):

One of the very few sunny days at the top of the Milford Pass... that's my group of students, milling around on the lookout...

(Oh my gosh, can you imagine anything more beautiful????)

A kea, a mountain parrot, on the roof of our hut during the trek (and yes, he's turned his head completely upside down):

Below, the most amazing view imaginable: dolphins surfacing in front of your sea kayak on a gorgeous sunny day in New Zealand:

I miss New Zealand!

Still here...

Hello blog friends,

I am still here, still alive and kicking. Been avoiding the blog for a while... I'm really a pretty private person, and it's weird enough to be sending thoughts about my life out into the blogosphere...It's been a long couple of weeks here in Waiting-For-LOI-Land... and still no news... so during the past couple of weeks, I have been operating under the mantra, "If I don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I had an encouraging phone call from my social worker a couple of weeks ago. His suggestion (which is a great one) was "Live your life." Meaning, don't live on pins and needles, waiting for an imminent phone call. This is, of course, easier said than done (although my SW is an adoptive dad, and I'm sure he remembers the waiting time, too!).

So I'm trying to live my life, but there are some things that just end up being affected anyways.... I'm skipping my annual week-long field trip next week to the Smoky Mountains with my botany class because there's no cell reception at the campground where we stay, and I thought that a week was too long to be away from the phone. :^(

I've been teaching most of my classes as though I perhaps won't be here towards the end of the school term... getting student projects started early, etc. Thankfully, the schedule this term is pretty flexible.

So I'm TRYING to be patient, but I still feel like I'm sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting for something HUGE to hit me. The question is, how long can you sit on the edge of your seat before your butt falls asleep and you start squirming around impatiently? How long before you hop up and start pacing around the room? How long before you start jumping up and down and yelling randomly? :^) I think that all of us waiting parents-to-be ought to have some kind of stress-reliever get-together, where we can ping off the walls and scream and laugh until we cry about what a bizarre process international adoption really is....

'Til next time...

Tick...tock...tick...tock....random thoughts on a Friday afternoon.

That sound you hear is the ticking of the clock.... we are still waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting... endlessly waiting... I sometimes feel like I'm in some weird state of suspended animation. I'm going about my life - eating, sleeping, working, etc - but I'm killing time, waiting for something BIG to happen. I feel like I'm on a treadmill, walking on and on and on, but not really getting anywhere. How do people ever feel a sense of progress when waiting for an adoption?

There's definite progress when you're paperchasing... you get your dossier documents together and check things off the list. But after that, it's so difficult to feel a sense of progress. You can see people who are technically "ahead of you" on the list going off to meet their little ones. Right now, the people from my agency who are traveling have paperwork dates that are very close to mine. And so I know, somewhere in the back of my mind, that this means I should be approaching that travel time, too... but for some reason, it never really feels like progress to me. I wake up every morning and think, "Today could be the day!" And then around mid-day, when there has been no exciting phone call, I realize that it won't be today. Is our LOI days away? Weeks away? Months away? I've never been pregnant before, but I sort of imagine that this is like being in the 11th month of a pregnancy... you're pretty ready for something to happen. I live and work on a small college campus and EVERYBODY knows that we're waiting on an adoption. So I typically get asked "Any news?" or "Where's the baby?" about 3-5 times per day (no exaggeration). I love all these people, and they mean well (they're only asking because they're excited and they care), but there are only so many ways to answer that question. Sigh...

It's tempting to try to not think about the adoption at all (HA! Like that's possible!)

I fully believe that this adventure has been divinely impelled and directed. And so I think a lot about the idea that this will unfold on God's time, not ours. But then I start wondering... why has this taken 3 years? Why do I feel so impatient? Is it ungrateful of me or does it show a lack of faith to question the timing? Is it okay to be a little grumbly about it? Would I really WANT the process to speed up, if it resulted in getting ourselves OFF the right track? Is it even possible to mess up what I truly believe is God's plan for this? People talk about going overseas and meeting their child and seeing later that if they'd gone sooner or later, they wouldn't have met that exact right child - the child that is perfect for their family. So by wishing for a speed-up in this process, am I wishing for something that would jeopardize that sort of experience? Man, this is metaphysically messy.

Okay, on a completely different note, here's how I spent my spring break:

We did some prescribed burning on several prairie areas on our campus.

Here's me in a Nomex suit. Totally cool. (Except that it was a men's extra-large. Not the most flattering fit...):

Check out the smoke "tornado" on the right hand side...

New Job!

Adoption news: Nope. Still waiting.


Other news: Russell got a new job! He's been working on his PhD at Washington University for several years (in evolutionary biology). He just accepted a faculty position at Maryville University (in St. Louis), starting in the fall. He's on track to finish up the PhD and start the new job in August. Yay!!! It's a little weird now, since we live on the campus of the college where I work, and we're in the same athletic conference as Maryville. So to my student atheletes... don't worry... I'm super happy that Russell has a job at Maryville, but I definitely know where my sports allegiances lie... :^) (And I've told Russ that he can't wear red to soccer games this fall...)

Goat update: the goats are back to their silly, happy, ornery selves. They have dismantled the little shelter we built for them (we keep building it back up) and this morning, the white one head-butted me as I filled her water bowl. She also wouldn't stop chewing on the zipper pulls on my jacket pocket. I'm thinking that they're pretty much OVER the dog attack now.

Fun update: check out www.nerdtests.com. You can take an online quiz to tell how much of a nerd you are (as if I needed outside confirmation on that...). Here are my results:

I'm particularly proud of my low, low score in the "dumb/dork/awkward" category. I think this is why the final analysis came out as "Uber Cool High Nerd."

I hope everyone had a great Easter & Nauryz!

Embassy/Consular Hold-Up

I know there has been lots of conversation and worry in the last couple of days about what's going on at the Kazakhstan Embassy and the Consulate in Washington DC and New York. (For those of you who may have missed it, the embassy is temporarily suspending its processing of dossiers for adoptions from Kazakhstan, pending a review of adoption procedures). This does not affect our adoption process, personally, since our dossier made it through the embassy stage last July, but my heart goes out to all those who are just starting the process and whose files are with the embassy. If there are any blog lurkers out there who are in that position, please know that we are thinking of you and hoping this resolves itself quickly! I know how heart-breaking and frustrating things like this can be... believe me. We made the decision to adopt 3 years ago this week, and our ride has been a definite roller coaster. The only thing I've learned for sure is that nothing is ever sure or easy in international adoption.

From what I've been able to gather, it sounds like Kazakhstan is wanting to review their procedures and make sure they're doing what's best for their children. If this is the case, I can only commend this - it's a good thing. But it sure doesn't make things easier for those who find themselves stuck in the process.

So, if you're affected by this and you're reading this post - Don't give up! Hang in there! And here's hoping for a quick and positive review by the Kaz officials.

Still No News

No, we haven't dropped off the face of the earth. Just no news on the adoption front. We got the FBI report all done and delivered to our agency. Today, Russell is driving a couple more power of attorney forms up to Springfield to get apostilled - more forms that the Kaz government requested of all prospective parents. I think we know the way to the Secretary of State's office by heart... we could drive it in our sleep by now.

It's finals week here at my school (we're on the quarter system). Then 2 weeks of spring break, during which I'm gonna keep cranking on my research project, then it's back to teaching full time for spring quarter. It's going to be pretty quiet here with all the students gone for 2 weeks.

FBI update!

I called the FBI this morning and they said our clearance was mailed yesterday!!!! Wow!!!! That was less than a week!

The phone call was kinda funny... when the woman said they were mailed already, I blurted out "Are you kidding???" She said, "Ma'am, I try not to lie about things like this." I told her I was just shocked because the woman I spoke to last week told me it would be about 4 weeks, and this was completed in under 1 week. She said "We're supposed to say 3-4 weeks. We try to get it done faster."

Cool!

So now we get to notarize, apostille (by taking another day off work at driving it up to the capitol) and then get it to Kaz.

On a completely different note, it's thundersnowing in St. Louis right now. Freaky.