Chrissy & Russell's Adventures in Kazakhstan

Happy Ending!

2008-12-31T14:22:00.000-08:00

Hello, Blog world -

I don't know if anyone is looking at this blog anymore, but I wanted to add one last entry... we are finally parents! We switched to a domestic adoption program in late summer, waited on their wait list for only 4 weeks, and are now completing the adoption of our new daughter, born in November. We are thrilled and humbled and exhausted (in a good way!). I don't intend to keep updating this blog, or to post many details here in such a public space, but if anyone would like more information about our new agency or our process, I'd be happy to share. Leave me a comment with your email address or send me a message.

Best wishes to those of you still on your adoption journey....

(Our first family portrait!)

Difficult Decision

2008-06-30T07:10:00.000-07:00

Hi all -

Well, it's been a month since I last posted, and it's been an eventful month for us.

After lots of thought, prayer, tears, and more prayer, we have decided not to move forward with our Kazakhstan adoption plans. We met with our agency on Friday to withdraw from the program.

This has been a tough decision for us.

Our paperwork has been at the Ministry of Education since October 1st of last year. We requested a child of either gender, under 18 months of age. This is a pretty typical request. But for some reason, our paperwork just has not progressed out of the MOE. Our agency has requested information about our dossier, and they are simply told "There's nothing wrong with the paperwork." That's the only info they've been able to get. Meanwhile, many families from our agency that are technically "behind us" in line have gone ahead of us. As I stressed in my previous post, we are ecstatic for those families who are traveling... but when this happens repeatedly, month after month, we're left with the impression that something's not quite right.

Also, because Russell is starting a new job in August (a teaching position), he has no opportunities for leave time until next summer. There's no paternal leave, and he doesn't qualify for FMLA. So even if we got an invitation to Kazakhstan, we'd have to decline it.

I have to stress that the staff at Children's Hope have been nothing but supportive, kind, diligent, and empathetic during this process. We have felt so blessed to be working with them and we'll miss them tremendously.

For those of you with CHI who are still waiting on a Kazakh adoption, you are in my thoughts. I used to obsessively read blogs written by those who were ahead of us in line, and when something wouldn't go right for them, I'd get really worried - both for those families and for us. Please, please, please... don't let our experience and our decision shake your confidence and your faith in your path to adoption. If your child is waiting in Kazakhstan, then nothing can stand in the way of your getting there!

All of you who are traveling or about to travel - I am thrilled beyond words for you and can't wait to follow along with your journey.

We haven't totally given up on our quest to be parents. We're not entirely sure what the next step is. We might do some more research on domestic adoption. For now, we're just going to spend some time enjoying each other's company and not worrying about the phone ringing (or not ringing) with adoption news.

Thanks so much to all of my new blog friends and to all my friends and family who've supported us...

Guess What We're Doing?

2008-05-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

That's right, still waiting.

You know what, blog friends? I'll let you in on a little secret....

I'm really sick of waiting.

There. I've said it.

This weekend, Russ and I will be working on putting together our 3rd dossier in 3 years, since all of our Kaz stuff has now expired (except the FBI and the 171 form, thank goodness). We'll need to update our homestudy and re-do all the other documents (including notarizing, apostilling, etc.). Is there such a thing as a "Frequent Apostiller's Club" ??? Can we get a discount or something? We're probably single-handedly funding some state programs in Missouri and Illinois with all the apostille fees we've paid over the years....

You know, 2 weeks ago, I was SURE we were going to get a phone call that week. I got a funky, weird, excited feeling the weekend before... I just felt certain that the phone call was imminent. Heck, I then sat down to read a weekly Bible lesson that I subscribe to, and there were all kinds of passages about family and children. It was so cool! There was the verse from Psalms about how "God setteth the solitary in families." There was also the story of Moses' mother making what I now think of as an "adoption plan" for him when she realized it was no longer safe for her to keep him. She put him in an ark and placed him in the reeds by the river where she knew he'd be found. I took great comfort from all those ideas.

And the days passed that week, and there was no phone call. No news. No updates. :^(

So the question I had then was: what the heck WAS that feeling? It felt like inspiration... was it wishful thinking? Was I being delusional? I just felt so sure.... that has happened a few times during the past couple of years... I don't know what to make of those feelings anymore.

There are two things that are really challenging to us during this part of the wait. First is that we are way beyond the original estimation of when we'd travel. When we turned our paperwork in last spring, we were told we'd travel in 6-8 months. Once 8 months came and went (back in February), we started living week-to-week, anticipating imminent travel. That's a long time to be waiting on the edge of one's seat. We feel like we're floating around in some sort of limbo.

The second thing that's kind of tough to take is that there are folks from our agency whose dossier got to the MOE after ours who have travelled already. We've been "skipped" several times now. We're not waiting on a girl (I know that slows things down). We requested either gender, up to 18 months. But we keep getting skipped. I don't mean to sound jealous of those families...I'm thrilled for those families who are traveling to Kazakhstan to meet their children. But it makes it pretty tough for us to wait, week after week. Our agency has been so supportive and understanding through this time. They don't know why we've been skipped, either. We've been told there's nothing wrong with our dossier.

But I still believe that international adoption ain't for wimps and it requires optimism and courage, and that we're in this for the long haul.

Hope springs eternal...

Maybe the phone will ring this week...

New Kaz Books

2008-05-12T15:57:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post for all you fans of Kazakhstan...

I ordered two books from Amazon that came in the mail today. One was "Apples are from Kazakhstan"... it's a just-published travelogue by Christopher Robbins... looks interesting.

The other is called "Kazakhstan" by Dagmar Schreiber. It's a travel guide with details about accomodations, etc... nowhere near as detailed as the Lonely Planet's Central Asia guide... BUT... it's got gorgeous photos (and tons of them!), plus excerpts from famous literary figures in Kaz history, plus info about treks you can take that are off the beaten track... it's really cool. And the writing is fun, too... here's an excerpt (the first two lines of the entry on "Karaganda"):

"A remarkable, spherical thorny plant named 'karaghanik' grows in the central steppe region of Kazakhstan. It comes to life in stormy weather and whirls over the plain like a horde of rabid hedgehogs. Karaganda owes its name to these plants."

I love this!

New Goats! New Goats! New Goats!

2008-05-07T14:04:00.001-07:00

We bought more goats for the college today!!! We expanded the goat herd by three new babies today, putting them to work on controlling shrubs and invasive species next to our prairie plots on campus. The new ones are about 4 months old, Boer/Nubian crosses. Here are some pictures of the new babies:

A goat on the go (we brought them home from the farmer's place in a dog crate):

New kids in their new neighborhood, checking out all the cool stuff to eat:

They came from a farm with a short grass pasture and had been raised on goat chow... so all this green stuff was totally fascinating! They eventually gathered around a really big oak tree and nibbled on the bark.

One new baby was born with no horns... we're thinking of calling her "Baldy"... or "Nubby"

These are our two older goats, Mata (in foreground) and Buko (background), hanging out under their summer shelter (it was raining) and checking out the new additions. They weren't sure about them AT ALL.... There was a little head-butting at first. I'm sure they'll be working out the "pecking order" for a little while.

Here's everybody under the shelter, still checking each other out...

So cute!!!! Sometime in the last year or so, I have obviously developed a fondness for goats. I was a little wigged out by the thought of starting this project at first, but one of my students, who comes from a sheep ranching background in Montana, really helped talk me into it. And I'm glad we did it... they do an amazing job on the weeds and shrubs around our prairies! We're also fortunate enough to have student workers who can go feed and water them. But now I've got other folks in the region calling me for advice with how to start a weed control project with goats! Somewhere along the line, I seem to have become the local "Goat Woman" (which is bizarre, because I am a total novice at this and am still nervous about the idea of caring for livestock... I worry about them all the time (ask my student workers and our land manager, who oversees them... I'm constantly asking if the shelters okay, if they're getting enough to eat, etc, etc.)

You guys are awesome!

2008-05-02T13:01:00.000-07:00

A big THANK YOU to all of you out there in blog-land who have posted hopeful and encouraging remarks on our blog in the last month or so... after I've posted two marginally cranky posts in a row, I owe you guys a lot for your uplifting comments. I especially appreciate all of you granting me "permission" gripe and moan a bit about how things are going (or NOT going, as seems to be the case here...)

So here are a few tidbits of good news:

First, CHI (our agency) opened a new region today! They're now working in the Karaganda region. Of course, the first thing I did upon hearing that news was jump on Google and check out who else has adopted from there. Sounds like a cool place. I'd be totally happy to be our agency's "guinea pig family" and be the first from CHI to travel there. Who knows? :^) Hopefully, opening another region will speed things up a little bit?

Second, the CHI families who are in country (or currently between trips) have apparently had smooth travels and smooth experiences (not many of them currently have public blogs). I'm so grateful for their good experiences!

I don't have any idea when our big exciting phone call will come in, and yes, the wait time has started to make me pretty cranky at times. But I came across an awesome quote from II Corinthians yesterday: "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair..." I was reading an essay that quoted this passage from Paul. The author of the essay described the apostle Paul as the biggest "cheerleader" for the early struggling Christians... and he sent this quote in a letter to the Christians in Corinth to encourage them during trying times. So I'm trying to live up to this quote... the frustration and sadness threatens me, but I'm going to choose not to be distressed... I'm perplexed by MANY, MANY things about the adoption, but I'm choosing not to be in despair.

I've been thinking about how blessed I've been - with many aspects of my life - but particularly recently - great husband, great job, great colleagues at my office. Last year, I led my last study abroad for a while, and I've been reviewing pictures and videos from that trip. So I thought I'd share a few pics from my last abroad to New Zealand in 2007 (my "farewell" to study abroads before taking on parenting.... but my abroads were really what taught me about parenting in the first place! I've had fabulous students on my trips!):

Here's me, right before hiking up a glacier (one of my favorite parts of the trip):

And here's my 2007 group up on the glacier:

A photo from part of the trail on the Milford Track, a 33 mile backpacking trip we do in southern New Zealand... a fabulous place... it gets nearly 21 FEET of rain there per year and last year, we had 2.5 sunny days out of 4. Amazing!
Students on a swing bridge during the trek:

Me and a student, contemplating the overlook called "12-second drop" (i.e. how long it would take for something you dropped to hit the valley below... it's a looooong way down!):

One of the very few sunny days at the top of the Milford Pass... that's my group of students, milling around on the lookout...

(Oh my gosh, can you imagine anything more beautiful????)

A kea, a mountain parrot, on the roof of our hut during the trek (and yes, he's turned his head completely upside down):

Below, the most amazing view imaginable: dolphins surfacing in front of your sea kayak on a gorgeous sunny day in New Zealand:

I miss New Zealand!

Still here...

2008-04-29T11:10:00.000-07:00

Hello blog friends,

I am still here, still alive and kicking. Been avoiding the blog for a while... I'm really a pretty private person, and it's weird enough to be sending thoughts about my life out into the blogosphere...It's been a long couple of weeks here in Waiting-For-LOI-Land... and still no news... so during the past couple of weeks, I have been operating under the mantra, "If I don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I had an encouraging phone call from my social worker a couple of weeks ago. His suggestion (which is a great one) was "Live your life." Meaning, don't live on pins and needles, waiting for an imminent phone call. This is, of course, easier said than done (although my SW is an adoptive dad, and I'm sure he remembers the waiting time, too!).

So I'm trying to live my life, but there are some things that just end up being affected anyways.... I'm skipping my annual week-long field trip next week to the Smoky Mountains with my botany class because there's no cell reception at the campground where we stay, and I thought that a week was too long to be away from the phone. :^(

I've been teaching most of my classes as though I perhaps won't be here towards the end of the school term... getting student projects started early, etc. Thankfully, the schedule this term is pretty flexible.

So I'm TRYING to be patient, but I still feel like I'm sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting for something HUGE to hit me. The question is, how long can you sit on the edge of your seat before your butt falls asleep and you start squirming around impatiently? How long before you hop up and start pacing around the room? How long before you start jumping up and down and yelling randomly? :^) I think that all of us waiting parents-to-be ought to have some kind of stress-reliever get-together, where we can ping off the walls and scream and laugh until we cry about what a bizarre process international adoption really is....

'Til next time...

Tick...tock...tick...tock....random thoughts on a Friday afternoon.

2008-04-04T11:32:00.000-07:00

That sound you hear is the ticking of the clock.... we are still waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting... endlessly waiting... I sometimes feel like I'm in some weird state of suspended animation. I'm going about my life - eating, sleeping, working, etc - but I'm killing time, waiting for something BIG to happen. I feel like I'm on a treadmill, walking on and on and on, but not really getting anywhere. How do people ever feel a sense of progress when waiting for an adoption?

There's definite progress when you're paperchasing... you get your dossier documents together and check things off the list. But after that, it's so difficult to feel a sense of progress. You can see people who are technically "ahead of you" on the list going off to meet their little ones. Right now, the people from my agency who are traveling have paperwork dates that are very close to mine. And so I know, somewhere in the back of my mind, that this means I should be approaching that travel time, too... but for some reason, it never really feels like progress to me. I wake up every morning and think, "Today could be the day!" And then around mid-day, when there has been no exciting phone call, I realize that it won't be today. Is our LOI days away? Weeks away? Months away? I've never been pregnant before, but I sort of imagine that this is like being in the 11th month of a pregnancy... you're pretty ready for something to happen. I live and work on a small college campus and EVERYBODY knows that we're waiting on an adoption. So I typically get asked "Any news?" or "Where's the baby?" about 3-5 times per day (no exaggeration). I love all these people, and they mean well (they're only asking because they're excited and they care), but there are only so many ways to answer that question. Sigh...

It's tempting to try to not think about the adoption at all (HA! Like that's possible!)

I fully believe that this adventure has been divinely impelled and directed. And so I think a lot about the idea that this will unfold on God's time, not ours. But then I start wondering... why has this taken 3 years? Why do I feel so impatient? Is it ungrateful of me or does it show a lack of faith to question the timing? Is it okay to be a little grumbly about it? Would I really WANT the process to speed up, if it resulted in getting ourselves OFF the right track? Is it even possible to mess up what I truly believe is God's plan for this? People talk about going overseas and meeting their child and seeing later that if they'd gone sooner or later, they wouldn't have met that exact right child - the child that is perfect for their family. So by wishing for a speed-up in this process, am I wishing for something that would jeopardize that sort of experience? Man, this is metaphysically messy.

Okay, on a completely different note, here's how I spent my spring break:

We did some prescribed burning on several prairie areas on our campus.

Here's me in a Nomex suit. Totally cool. (Except that it was a men's extra-large. Not the most flattering fit...):

Check out the smoke "tornado" on the right hand side...

New Job!

2008-03-24T13:26:00.000-07:00

Adoption news: Nope. Still waiting.

Other news: Russell got a new job! He's been working on his PhD at Washington University for several years (in evolutionary biology). He just accepted a faculty position at Maryville University (in St. Louis), starting in the fall. He's on track to finish up the PhD and start the new job in August. Yay!!! It's a little weird now, since we live on the campus of the college where I work, and we're in the same athletic conference as Maryville. So to my student atheletes... don't worry... I'm super happy that Russell has a job at Maryville, but I definitely know where my sports allegiances lie... :^) (And I've told Russ that he can't wear red to soccer games this fall...)

Goat update: the goats are back to their silly, happy, ornery selves. They have dismantled the little shelter we built for them (we keep building it back up) and this morning, the white one head-butted me as I filled her water bowl. She also wouldn't stop chewing on the zipper pulls on my jacket pocket. I'm thinking that they're pretty much OVER the dog attack now.

Fun update: check out www.nerdtests.com. You can take an online quiz to tell how much of a nerd you are (as if I needed outside confirmation on that...). Here are my results:

I'm particularly proud of my low, low score in the "dumb/dork/awkward" category. I think this is why the final analysis came out as "Uber Cool High Nerd."

I hope everyone had a great Easter & Nauryz!

Embassy/Consular Hold-Up

2008-03-19T11:29:00.000-07:00

I know there has been lots of conversation and worry in the last couple of days about what's going on at the Kazakhstan Embassy and the Consulate in Washington DC and New York. (For those of you who may have missed it, the embassy is temporarily suspending its processing of dossiers for adoptions from Kazakhstan, pending a review of adoption procedures). This does not affect our adoption process, personally, since our dossier made it through the embassy stage last July, but my heart goes out to all those who are just starting the process and whose files are with the embassy. If there are any blog lurkers out there who are in that position, please know that we are thinking of you and hoping this resolves itself quickly! I know how heart-breaking and frustrating things like this can be... believe me. We made the decision to adopt 3 years ago this week, and our ride has been a definite roller coaster. The only thing I've learned for sure is that nothing is ever sure or easy in international adoption.

From what I've been able to gather, it sounds like Kazakhstan is wanting to review their procedures and make sure they're doing what's best for their children. If this is the case, I can only commend this - it's a good thing. But it sure doesn't make things easier for those who find themselves stuck in the process.

So, if you're affected by this and you're reading this post - Don't give up! Hang in there! And here's hoping for a quick and positive review by the Kaz officials.

Still No News

2008-03-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

No, we haven't dropped off the face of the earth. Just no news on the adoption front. We got the FBI report all done and delivered to our agency. Today, Russell is driving a couple more power of attorney forms up to Springfield to get apostilled - more forms that the Kaz government requested of all prospective parents. I think we know the way to the Secretary of State's office by heart... we could drive it in our sleep by now.

It's finals week here at my school (we're on the quarter system). Then 2 weeks of spring break, during which I'm gonna keep cranking on my research project, then it's back to teaching full time for spring quarter. It's going to be pretty quiet here with all the students gone for 2 weeks.

FBI update!

2008-03-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

I called the FBI this morning and they said our clearance was mailed yesterday!!!! Wow!!!! That was less than a week!

The phone call was kinda funny... when the woman said they were mailed already, I blurted out "Are you kidding???" She said, "Ma'am, I try not to lie about things like this." I told her I was just shocked because the woman I spoke to last week told me it would be about 4 weeks, and this was completed in under 1 week. She said "We're supposed to say 3-4 weeks. We try to get it done faster."

Cool!

So now we get to notarize, apostille (by taking another day off work at driving it up to the capitol) and then get it to Kaz.

On a completely different note, it's thundersnowing in St. Louis right now. Freaky.

Optimistic?

2008-02-28T12:51:00.000-08:00

(Note: Chris, there's a response to your comment down at the bottom of this post!)

Okay, I'm trying to stay optimistic here. After asking around a bit, I'm finding that it's not very common at all for the Ministry of Education to ask for an updated FBI clearance (especially since it's not set to expire for another 6 months). No one has any idea what this means. I called the FBI today - they received our fingerprints but said it will be 3 and a half to 4 weeks until we get the report back. Then we have to notarize it, drive it to Springfield for apostilling, and get it to our adoption agency. Then it has to make it all the way to Kazakhstan. I know that in the grand scheme of the nearly 3 year wait, this is a drop in the bucket... but it's not feeling so much like a "drop" right now. It's feeling like yet another hurdle that's adding another month or two on to the wait. I don't get this... I was feeling like we were so close, and now it feels like it's slipping further away again.

On a brighter note, we went to a really nice reception last night at our agency for one of their Kazakh staff who is in charge of development and humanitarian aid. It was nice to meet someone who is involved in the process of adoption via the development side of things. I got to try out my 2 words of Kazakh (I tried to say hello). Not terribly successful. I had a bit more luck with my limited Russian. She gave bars of Kazakh chocolate to the handful of waiting parents who attended the meeting and I was at least able to thank her appropriately in Russian! :^)

Also, thanks for all your comments about our goats! They are doing a little better today. They're pretty sore and not putting any weight on their injured legs. They're also not eating much (which is REALLY weird for a goat). But they seem calm and they like their new surroundings. Here are some pictures of them in their new "nest", close to the science center on campus:

We have several Kenyan students who have grown up raising goats, so I asked them to give our goats good Swahili names. I described the two goats' personalities to them, and they came up with Matatizo (for the white one... which means "Trouble") and Masumbuko (for the brown one... which means "Bad With People"). Pretty accurate names... Mata likes to test the limits of things and get into trouble, and Buko is really jumpy, skittish, and runs away from people.

Close up of Mata... she's so cute!!!!

The building has a door that leads out into this unused garden/paddock area where we are keeping them now... and the goats have discovered their reflections in the glass. So far, they're just fascinated with the strange goats in the windows. The computer network people (who work behind the door) have enjoyed the goats' company but found their constant stares a bit distracting, so they lowered the shade.

**************************

Note to Chris: Yes, I have the same question (about electronic fingerprinting). Why CAN'T we do that????? I don't know... but the FBI insists on the old fashioned way. When we did the state police background check two years ago, they did electronic fingerprinting - it was awesome! Our local police department actually takes our fingerprints for us, then we mail them into the FBI office. The first two times we did this, they used this cool red ink (well, it was red on your fingers, but turned black on the paper). It was not messy and it made perfectly clear prints on the paper. This time, they had the old black, gloppy ink. The fingerprints were really messy - we even had him re-do Russell's because they were so dark and it was hard to see detail. I'm kinda worried the FBI will reject them and make us do it over again. Ugh.

Dossier Sees the Light of Day (????)

2008-02-26T12:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, the MOE (Minstry for Education in Kazakhstan, for those of you playing along at home - this is the government agency that matches us with a child) asked for us to update our FBI clearance. This is the first communication we've had from any level of the government in Kazakhstan. Our fingerprints and clearances won't expire until August. So this leaves us wondering... are they just being proactive and getting us to run our prints again because our file is going to sit there until the clearance DOES expire? Or does this mean that our dossier is finally seeing the light of day and is possibly headed somewhere soon? We simply don't know.

What I do know is that Russell and I rushed down to the police station yesterday afternoon only to wait and wait and wait to get fingerprinted. We watched a woman come into the police station to get her car out of impound only to see officers "sneak" up behind her and arrest her right there in front of us... apparently she had a warrant out for her arrest! Sheesh! So at least it was an exciting wait...unfortunately for that woman. We finally got the fingerprints and I planned to send them off to the FBI first thing in the morning.

Except that first thing this morning, I got a call in my office (at 7:45am) saying that one of our two campus goats (which we keep for weed control) was found limping down a busy, main road not far from campus! So I grabbed a truck and went out looking. I found her, being held down by a friend from work who had gotten there first and was huddled on the road side (in the snow and high winds). Both of our goats been attacked by dogs and scattered away from their pen! So I spent the morning with my friend at the vet's office, getting the goats fixed up. Poor babies. They're okay now - but both have lots of puncture wounds and scrapes. They're pretty freaked out. We're moving them to a more secure paddock closer to the central part of campus.

So after trying to deal with that, I still hadn't mailed off my fingerprints... I ran to town (which is 20 minutes away) to get a money order, but then realized I'd left the required cover letter for the clearance check request back in my office. Ugh. Back & forth & back & forth all morning. Long story short... the fingerprints are now being overnighted to the FBI office. Whew. I wrote "ADOPTION APPLICATION' all over the outside of it so it goes to the right office (we learned that lesson the hard time the first time we did this... it took WEEKS and weeks and weeks to get our clearance back). The second time we did this, I wrote all over the envelope, and they turned it around in 10 days. Cool. Keeping my fingers crossed for that to happen this time, too!

Baby Gift!

2008-02-14T11:38:00.001-08:00

I got the most fabulous, unexpected baby gift in the mail this week from my friend Lisa. For one of her very first knitting projects, she made a gorgeous baby blanket out of rich raspberry-colored cotton yarn. I totally love it! I'm so impressed! I'm such a novice knitter - I've never made anything bigger than a hat. This blanket is terrific! Here it is, over the edge of our crib, with all of our little kiddo's stuffed critters gathered around to admire it...
Lisa, thank you thank you thank you! I really needed a bit of a baby "pick-me-up" this week. (By the way, just so the WORLD now knows this... Lisa Jean was a Prom Queen.) (That has nothing to do with this topic or this post... but has everything to do with a long-standing inside joke that I just KNOW Lisa is really enjoying right now.) :^)

On the adoption front, there is mixed news. After a marathon phone call to my wonderfully supportive agency coordinator early this week, I decided that I would go back to work during the next school term (which starts April 1st). It is so hard to predict when we might be traveling. I just didn't want to risk taking another school term off on some kind of leave, and then NOT traveling until summer. So I put myself on the schedule for teaching courses next term, and BOOM! One of my agency's clients who has VERY similar paperwork dates to us gets an LOI (yesterday). Her travel dates are Feb. 25 to March 13. She got 12 days' notice! Wow!

I realize that this means next to nothing in terms of a predictor about when we'll travel. (For those of you not as embroiled in Kaz adoption as we are, the invitations to travel don't go in chronological order. In other words, it's not always "first come, first served" with this process.) But it's encouraging to think that other clients of our agency are starting to move through the process again (after a big lull with the holidays, etc.).

Stay tuned...!

Horst

2008-02-04T14:34:00.001-08:00

Yay snow! I love snow! We got about 9 inches last Friday evening. It melted pretty quickly, but not before Russ and I decorated our yard with Horst, the 6-foot tall, Bayern Munchen futbol fan (note the scarf) snowman and his pet bunny, Kaninchen. And yes, Horst has raquetballs for eyes. In fact, if you look closely, Horst has eyebrows, since his eyeballs kept falling out and bouncing out into the street. Thankfully, his eyebrows held his eyeballs in place.

Tragically, the warm weather has not been good to poor Horst. He was listing heavily this morning as I left for work. I don't hold out much hope for him this afternoon. Ah, Horst... we hardly knew ye.

Tagged!

2008-01-30T15:00:00.000-08:00

Hey! I was tagged... not once but twice! The rules for this game are as follows:

1. Link to the person who sent this to you and leave a comment on their blog so their readers can visit yours 2. Post the rules on your blog 3. Share 7 strange/weird facts about yourself 4. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, linking their blog 5. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

My only problem is that the only blogs I read are other Kazakhstan adoption blogs, and it looks like everyone has played this game already! I'm not sure there's anybody left to tag! Bummer!

Oh well... here are my 7 weird things:

1. I grew up in the military (dad was in the Air Force) and we moved every two years, on average. I went to 11 different schools (including 3 different high schools). I've lived in the US, the Azores Islands, and Germany.

2. And speaking of Germany, a friend and I were once locked in a castle tower in Germany. Our cries for help went unanswered for about an hour and finally my friend and I decided to figure out how to pick a lock. We were successful. :^)

3. I once sat on the roof of the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris.

4. Over the years, I have had 4 giant millipedes as pets, ranging from a nearly 13-inch long female named Millificent the Magnificent Millipede to a skinny little guy, only about 8 inches long, named Slim.

5. On this day, one year ago, I was petting fuzzy little leaves on New Zealand edelweiss plants along a trail leading up to Aoraki, the highest mountain in New Zealand, while my students took their midterm exam (by trying to identify plants, birds, rocks, etc. along the trail).

6. I get really excited by really cold weather. The coldest I've experienced is -40 degrees, while leading a wolf-watching trip to Yellowstone National Park. (Did you know that -40 is the same on the Celcius and Fahrenheit scales? It's where the two scales converge! Cool!) Anyways, when the temperature hit -40, I ran outside in my long underwear and jumped up and down with exitement! (And quickly learned that -40 will freeze your lung tissue almost instantly!)

7. I've climbed to the top of a 14,000 foot mountain in Colorado! (Even though lots of my friends have peaked numerous 14'ers... I'm still proud of my ONE 14'er!)

Hmmmm..... now who do I tag???? Who's left in Kaz blogland? I'll have to search...

(PS. Does anyone know why blogger continues to double-space between my paragraphs, even when I go back to edit the post and delete the extra spaces continuously????)
(PPS. Hey! I just noticed that on my poll on the sidebar, someone just voted for us to get "the call" this week! Thanks for the vote of confidence! :^)

Nope

2008-01-17T15:47:00.000-08:00

For those of you out there that are checking this blog weekly to see if we've heard anything new, the short answer is: Nope. The long answer is: Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nada. Nichts. Nothin'.

Try again next week! In the meantime, I've posted a new poll... cast your votes!

(Amy, if you're reading this, my mildly cranky attitude this week does NOT negate the fact that we're still optimists by default. I stand by that claim! :^)

(UPDATE on 1/18/08: Okay, I realize that my poll on the sidebar is incredibly poorly constructed. I'm clearly not a social scientist. I guess I was wondering, will I get the phone call this month? Or will it be later than this month, i.e. later in the year. Clearly if I get the phone call this month, it will also be this year. My brain is fried. I'm glad it's the weekend.)

Science!

2008-01-09T14:28:00.000-08:00

Well, still no news on the adoption front, but I finally got my DNA extractions to work! I'm working on a research project during my "maternity leave" from teaching. I'm hoping to compare genetic diversity of some small populations of prairie plants along the Mississippi River bluffs. But first, I had to actually extract the DNA out of the plants, which just wasn't working. But last week, I set up the reaction, left the room for a bit, and when I came back, there was DNA!!! Yay!!!! It was like a late Christmas present! Here's what it looks like:

The little pinkish, glow-in-the-dark bands is DNA that is flourescing under an ultraviolet light. This picture is actually sugar maple DNA that one of my students extracted last night, after I taught her how to make the extraction work. She's doing this for part of her senior capstone project. Groovy.

On a completely different note, we had freakishly warm weather this past weekend, so we enjoyed it by taking the dog to the state park at the confluence of the Mississippi and Missouri Rivers.

The obligatory self-portrait shot:

Russell and Deva learning about the great rivers:

Howdy, folks!

2007-12-28T10:55:00.000-08:00

Last night, our agency sponsored a conference call for all waiting Kazakhstan adoptive families, which was really cool! It was so amazing to hear the voices of so many people from all over the country as they joined the call. I recognized many names from all the blogs I've visited. I wanted to blurt out "Hey! I know you!" each time someone joined! Hello to all my fellow bloggers and waiting CHI families! It was also great to hear Julie Woods' voice on the line - all the way from Almaty! Hi Julie! The connection was great - I could hear you a lot clearer than I could hear folks in the U.S. Thanks for your insights and your encouragement!

We had been gone all day doing some shopping, and when we got home, there was a message on our phone from our social worker. He was calling with the details for how to join the conference call, but we had completely forgotten that the call was on the 27th - it wasn't even on our minds. When we played the beginning of the message and heard his voice, we suddenly thought... it's THE CALL!!! We dropped the groceries we were putting away and looked at each other with wide eyes. My heart was pounding, but then I realized the REAL purpose of the call. Russell and I cracked up together in the kitchen, took a deep breath, and chalked it up to a "practice run" for the real phone call. :^)

Not much to update you on since my last post, adoption-wise. We're still waiting and hoping that referrals pick up after the new year's holiday. Let's see... what was I doing during my last post? Extracting DNA, reading books, and baking holiday cookies? Yup, that just about sums it up. I'm STILL trying to extract DNA (it's not going so well), still reading books, and I baked (and ate) more cookies than I care to admit (as well as a completely fabulous recipe for chocolate cinnamon bread I got at Starbuck's... we accidentally burned one batch but scraped off the tops and ate them anyways. Such desperation is warranted for this bread - it's just that good. Trust me.)

I hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Maybe January?

2007-12-05T13:27:00.000-08:00

We got an email update from our agency today that said that due to several holidays in Kazakhstan, and the likelihood that government agencies will be closed, they're not sending families for any first trips to Kazakhstan until after January 14th. Of course, we still need to find out which region we'll be headed to, but at least we know now that we won't be headed anywhere until mid-January at the earliest.

Not much else going on around here... Still working on my genetic diversity study (hoping that my DNA extractions are working)... Reading an awesome book called "Deep Economy" by Bill McKibben that's making me want to invest in a wind turbine and eat local organic food... Being awakened early in the morning by the sound of gunfire in the woods around our house (apparently shotgun season - for deer - started a few days ago)...Itching to get started on holiday baking... is it too early for Christmas cookies??? Maybe I'll just make a few "test batches." :^)

Still Waiting...

2007-11-14T08:26:00.000-08:00

I'm still sitting here, trying really, really hard to be patient (see my previous blog entry). Our dossier is technically still sitting on the desk of someone at the Ministry for Education in Kazakhstan, but I find myself wondering where it is, really... is it in a file somewhere? Literally on a desk? Collecting dust? Is someone's coffee cup sitting on top of it? Did the people who evaluated it like our photos? Did we look acceptable? (Someone told us that some of the officials like books in the photos, and we took some of the photos of ourselves in front of our whole WALL of bookshelves... we are total book packrats! I hope that makes us look smart! :^)

I had a total "light bulb moment" the other day, when I realized that the next phone call we get from our agency will be telling us what region we'll be traveling to... and the only reason we'll be assigned to a region is because there's a child there that fits with what we requested in our dossier (under 18 months, boy or girl). So that means that when the phone call comes, the Kaz officials have technically identified a child for us. (To those of you waiting on Kaz adoptions, this may seem like a "No DUH!!!" moment... but I don't know why the reality of this hadn't sunk in until last week.) Russell and I grew up in the military... I sort of felt like we were awaiting our next "orders"... the Kaz government was telling us which "duty station" to report to. But really, it's all centered around a child... an actual child. Hopefully, OUR child.

So despite my strong attempts to be patient, and despite all the lovely stuff I wrote in my previous blog entry (which I still stand by!!!), I'm still obsessively counting the days and wondering when The Call will come in. I'm also obsessively counting days that would come AFTER the phone call comes in. I'm hoping that we travel in December or early January. If we push it much further than that, then my maternity leave runs out and I'll have to come right back to teaching full time immediately after we come home with the kiddo. Sigh.... so I'm still wrestling with moments during the day when I want to SCREAM! (Is it okay to admit this, after my previous gratitude post? :^)

Russell and I have been joking about this. We've decided to start a list:

You Know You've Been Waiting for THE CALL for Too Long When:

1. The phone rings and your heart lurches. (We live on a college campus, and the phones here have a special ring that signals an off-campus, long-distance call coming in... my heart definitely lurches for those rings...)
2. Your spouse calls you while you're at work, and you answer the phone with "What??? What have you heard?" (At which point your spouse apologizes because they're just calling to talk about what we should fix for dinner....)
3. People in your office pop by while you're in the middle of grading papers or something and say "Have you heard anything?" and you have to pause and figure out what they're talking about... because a) if you HAD heard anything about the adoption, you probably would have run screaming down the halls about it by this point and wouldn't be calmly sitting at your desk grading papers, and b) they might be referring to something else entirely, and if you respond with adoption-related stuff, they'll think that yet again, you are obsessing about the adoption (which, of course, would probably be right).
4. You're counting the days since your last phone call to your social worker, asking about the progress of your dossier, since you put yourself on a schedule: "I will only call Jeff once every two weeks... I swear!"
5. You find yourself admitting to the world (via a public blog) all the insane things you're doing and the weird thoughts running through your head while you're waiting for The Call.

Thanks to all of you who've been emailing with supportive ideas and comments! I'm sure you could add your own items to our list!

Gratitude Blog

2007-10-31T13:44:00.000-07:00

As you may have guessed from the significant LACK of blogging, not much is happening in our little corner of the wide world of adoption. As far as we can tell, our file is still at the Ministry for Education. Jeff, our Kaz program social worker, said that it's probably "sitting on the desk" of the person who makes decisions about which region we'll be assigned to. I'm trying very hard to be patient, which is not something I've ever been very good at.

That said, I've been thinking a lot about patience lately, and came across an article where the author described how selfish impatience really is. So I started thinking about what the opposite of impatience would be... the main thing I could come up with is gratitude! So here's my gratitude blog for today, as an antidote to impatience:

I'm grateful for all the people who have helped and supported us in this journey - so many friends and family members who've been so enthusiastic and happy for us. Some of you have given me hope when my own hope was waning... so thank you for that.

I'm grateful for all the folks at CHI who approach their jobs with such love and understanding, especially when they get bombarded with frequent requests for updates from impatient people like myself :^). I'm grateful for the folks at CHI who put in such long hours and bring so much thought and prayer to their jobs.

I'm so grateful for all the new friends and aquaintances I've met through blogs and the yahoo groups. WOW! What a supportive community.... thanks, you guys! Thanks for being willing to share your stories and your insights. I can't imagine doing this without you all!

I'm grateful for friends who are beginning to give me unsolicited parenting advice. I know this happens naturally to women who are pregnant. But having no "external" evidence of our "pregnancy" has made this a pretty surreal experience. If I was biologically pregnant, I'd be about 7 or 8 months pregnant by now...but being "adoption pregnant" is easier for people to forget. So thank you to those friends who are continuing to throw out bits of advice for us soon-to-be first-time parents!

I'm SO grateful for friends at work who helped me successfully lobby my employer for a change in their benefits package: maternity leave for adoption cases! Yippeee!!!!

I'm very thankful for the people who make Rody inflatable ponies (see pic below). I had never seen one of these until I went to City Sprouts in St. Louis (a cool kids store). Every time there is a young child in that store, he/she gravitates towards their little red Rody. They LOVE it... bounce on it, squeeze its ears, etc. So we bought one. Ours is black with yellow dots.
I'm grateful for the avelanche of baby stuff that people have bestowed upon us... a crib, 2 car seats, a baby "backpack", a tricycle, 2 strollers, etc. It's pretty overwhelming. And I'm grateful for the offers of clothing and toys that have been made... we're just waiting to find out more about the size/gender/age of the kiddo. Believe me, one thing I can't wait for is launching into clothes shopping. I'm not a shop-a-holic, and I'm not obsessed with clothes, but there are just WAY too many cute things to pass up shopping opportunities for baby/kid clothes.
I'm actually grateful for the waiting time associated with this adoption (going on 2 years now), because it's been a fabulous growing time for both of us... we have known each other for 18 years & been married for 11, but we've still learned so much about each other through this process.

So those are my thoughts on this last day of October. Happy Halloween, everybody! And stay tuned... more updates should be coming!

Worldwide Blog!

2007-10-05T07:45:00.000-07:00

I've discovered that this blog is being read all the way down in Antarctica! How cool is that??? My friend Sune, who works for the British Antarctic Survey, responded to my email alert about this blog. Here are some pretty darn cool pictures that he sent from some work he's been doing with emperor penguin colonies lately:

(Sune titled that middle picture "Parenting." I hope that sort of parenting applies mostly to penguins, since I don't recall parental regurgitation of half-digested fish being mentioned in the child development books I've been reading. Maybe I skipped that part?)

I can't tell you how much I would love to visit Antarctica someday. Actually, I'd love to work or study there at some point - extreme biology rocks!. However, it will have to wait, as Sune informs me that there are no kids allowed in Antarctica (a shocker, I know)... with the exception of a Chilean base where the Chilean government allows their citizens to have babies, thinking that this solidifies their claim to the continent. Apparently, there are children in the world who are native Antarcticans. Interesting....

And speaking of children... no new info yet about a Kazakhstani kid. By the way: I've been reading books about Kazakhstan, and "Kazakhstani" refers to the citizens of the country. "Kazakh" refers to an ethnic group which makes up the majority of the population of the country. Just in case you were curious... I've been reading blogs by folks who've been to all of the regions our agency works in. They all sound like really interesting places to go... they range from big cities to smaller towns. I'm getting really curious about which part of the country we'll be staying in when we travel.

Also - people have asked about the gender of the kiddo. Short answer: we don't know. We didn't specify one or the other when we applied. In Kazakhstan, this normally means you'll adopt a boy (since most people who adopt request girls). We'd be happy with either.

AND... people have asked about names. We honestly have not decided on a name. The kid will, of course, come with a name. We figured that we'd wait to meet the lil' kiddo and make a decision then. Many people end up using the given name as a middle name... we have no idea yet what we'll do. This doesn't stop people from suggesting names, though. So far, my favorites (and by "favorite", I mean "the ones that have made me laugh out loud") are "Bergthora" (which is "goddess of the mountain" in Icelandic - thanks Nibby, for that suggestion), "Horst" (not really a suggestion, but just a name that came up in conversation and made me giggle) and "Zaphod" (this is probably what Michael Booth will call my child, regardless of what we name him/her.)

So, Where's the Baby? (Part 2)

2007-10-01T06:58:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems the traditional thing to do on one of these adoption-related blogs is to post a map of the place you're headed off to. I know most of my friends have beat the pants off of me on the Facebook geography quiz challenge, so you probably don't NEED a map of central Asia in order to remember where Kazakhstan is, but for those of you who've never heard of the country, here it is...

Our agency currently works in several different regions in Kaz: Almaty City, Almaty Region, Shymkent, Taldy-Korgan (northeast of Almaty) and Qostanay (in the northern part of the country). So we're currently waiting to find out which region we'll be assigned to. Any guesses?

Fun facts about Kazakhstan: it is the birthplace of the apple (this is where they evolved). Also, Kazakhstan is the 9th largest country in the world! Kazakhstan has had a long and fascinating history, from its experiences as a stop along the Silk Road, to the influx of Islam in the 9th century, to the arrival of Gengis Khan a few centuries later, to the experience of being a former Soviet state... it's a pretty amazing place. It's been a region of nomads and famous horsemen, with a rich cultural history. It's also been the home of the Soviet space program and Soviet nuclear testing. Overall, we're pretty psyched about being able to visit this part of the world. (Although it will most likely be the dead of winter while we're there... not quite as much fun for a couple of biologists like Russell and me who would love to see plants, animals, etc.)

So until we hear from our agency about where we'll be headed, we're busy preparing. Russ is trying to get another chapter of his PhD done before we leave. I'm teaching my fall classes. I'm also starting a research project on genetic diversity of hill prairie plants. This research project is what I'll be doing instead of teaching next quarter, once the baby is home. This weekend, Russ and I went out to collect plants from local hill prairies...some of them are really beautiful this time of year!

We're also still collecting odds and ends for the baby's room. Two of my favorite things so far: a mural for the wall called "Our World" (from Oopsy Daisy art) and a stuffed monster called "Oliver". The mural was an awesome find... I love it because of all the random places to include on a map of the whole world, the artist put the St. Louis arch (we're in the greater St. Louis area) and a yurt in Kazakhstan. Very cool. And I love Oliver because he was designed by a 4-year-old boy who described him as a monster who who loves pink and who is growing his hair out. Oliver wants to be a princess when he grows up (hence the crown). He has no arms, but as the designer puts it "That's okay, because everyone is different." Seriously, how can you NOT love that?
Finally, to the commentor who asked about our agency - we've been really pleased with CHI so far!

So, Where's the Baby?

2007-09-28T14:05:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd post a summary about the process we've been involved in for the last ... oh, 2 years or so. So many of you have been patiently following along with us during this process, and lately I've been bombarded with questions about our "progress" with the adoption, so here goes:

In 2005, we decided to adopt. When we got married 11 years ago, we decided that if and when we wanted children, we would choose adoption. At first, we didn't know whether we would look at international or domestic adoptions, but we eventually found an adoption agency we really liked, and they only worked with foreign adoptions, so that sort of made the decision for us. We chose Children's Hope International as our adoption agency. CHI works in many different countries, and we initially looked into adopting from Kazakhstan because the process really appealed to us (and also, we had a friend who had adopted from Kaz, and we'd spent a lot of time talking with her about her experiences). We really appreciated the child-centered nature of the process: you have to live in Kaz for 3 weeks, visiting the child in the orphanage for a few hours each day. This, we felt, put the child's interests first... letting him or her get to know the new parents slowly, and in an environment that was familiar to him/her.

But as we got into the application phase, we realized that Kaz was a fairly new program for CHI, plus we didn't know if we'd be able to get the 3-7 weeks (or longer) off from work that the Kaz program required for travel. So we switched to China. We gathered paperwork for a looooong time (that's a whole different story...), then sent our dossier to China in August 2006.

In April of this year, we both started feeling that we were on the wrong track. Something just didn't feel right about what we were doing - this was fueled in part by the ever-growing wait for adoptions from China. We were guesstimating a travel date to China of sometime in late 2008...??? After lots of soul-searching and discussion, we discovered that neither one of us really ever wanted to switch away from Kazakhstan, so we came back! We called our agency, recalled our China dossier, and they helped us re-do all the paperwork.

On June 29th, our new dossier was sent to the Kaz Consulate in New York City. Sometime after that (we're not sure when), it was sent to the Ministry for Foreign Affairs in Kazakhstan. During early September, it was sent to the Ministry for Education (which oversees orphanages). The next step will be assigning us to a particular region in Kaz. Once our paperwork is at the Ministry for Education regional office, we will be issued an invitation to travel to that region to meet our child! We'll stay in the country for about 3 weeks, then come home for a month while lots of paperwork is processed, then return to Kaz for a few days to pick up the baby and head home.

We more than likely won't have any information regarding the age or gender of the kiddo when we travel. We've requested either gender, between 8 and 18 months old. (Kids generally aren't available for international adoption any younger than 8 months.)

So we are hoping that we're in the final stretches of the waiting game. We're keeping our fingers crossed that our first trip happens before the end of the year.

Joining the 21st Century

2007-09-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

Greetings friends, family members, and curious bystanders...

Thanks for joining us in our newest adventure: impending parenthood! As most of you know, we've been working on an international adoption for quite some time now. It would appear that we're getting pretty close at this point. We're hoping to travel to Kazakhstan sometime in the next few months to meet our first child! We're pretty darn excited about this.

So in celebration of this, we're attempting to join the 21st century by figuring out how to manage our very own blog. We've been so inspired by so many of the other international adoption blogs that families have posted over the past few years. We've learned HEAPS, and discovered quite a community of folks who've created their families through international adoption. We want our blog to help keep our friends and families informed throughout our trip, but we also want to help encourage the folks who are behind us in this process. So welcome to our first test post! More to come...